Splog

This is the stupidest article I’ve ever read. The premise? Take a ‘world famous concert violinist’, playing ‘world famous music’ on a ‘world famous violin’, and put him in a subway station and see what happens. Answer? no one really cares. I’m not surprised at all, but the authors of the article are completely baffled by the result, stating that they assumed that he’d draw such a crowd that it would be a municipal safety problem. They melodramatically lead into the article, describing their little “experiment” with such hyperbolic statements as, “one of the finest classical musicians in the world, playing some of the most elegant music ever written on one of the most valuable violins ever made” – their ultimate question being whether or not beauty could “transcend” such an otherwise-banal setting. If that isn’t biased, I don’t know what is. To me, this whole thing is about as smart as setting up a double blind experiment that involves feeding a house party of college students the finest wine in the world just to see if they all realize it, cease swilling it to get drunk and stop to savor the rich aroma and velvety color. Of course they’re not going to, and the answer is obscenely simple: Beauty is relative. The amount that one can appreciate anything is relative. Just because a song is 500 years old, and the equally-ancient violin it is being played on is in the hands of a well-versed professional, doesn’t mean that you should assume that the experience will be universally shit-your-pants-amazing. To most people, he’s just some generic guy playing some otherwise-generic classical music on a nondescript violin. To ask if “beauty” could transcend that situation is horrifyingly presumptuous and naive. I’m pretty sure it’s obvious that a large majority of people don’t have much of an appreciation for classical music when its clear that they’d rather hear Coldplay or Britney Spears than listen to this guy – as evidenced by the fact that Coldplay is the most listened artist on Last.fm, and Mozart is 400th on the same list, let alone that Britney Spears concert tickets cost up to 5 times more than the most expensive tickets to hear this violinist play. The only people who stopped to listen already had some form of precursor appreciation for it, whether it was the fact that they used to play violin and were able to discern that this man was amazingly adept, they were classical music fans and were able to realize just what this guy was playing, or they actually recognized him for who he was. Being surprised that no one stopped sheerly to appreciate the “beauty of the music” is about as rational as being surprised that no one stopped sheerly to appreciate the beauty of the masterful industrial design work that went into the “CAUTION WET FLOOR” sign five feet away from the violinist. Likewise, I don’t think that you can make any blanket observations about our society’s ability to appreciate beauty from such an experiment – people all appreciate vastly different things to vastly different extents, so people ignoring some effectively obscure guy playing some VERY obscure violin in a subway is about as earth-shattering as Sarah Palin is dumb. I’d much rather have seen results from a better experiment, like one that tests how much dogs like to be masturbated.

I can’t believe this advertisement just sent shivers down my spine; amazing stuff. cheers.

So, apparently, wealthy men give women more orgasms. Makes me wonder – if a guy is wealthy because he’s cheap and doesn’t buy shit, does he give women as many orgasms as a guy who ‘appears’ wealthy because he blows all the money he’d otherwise have in his bank account on nice cars, dinners, large tips, booze and flowers for women? I mean, I was relatively sure up until this point that going dutch was a turn off, not like a banking strategy that would get women wet later on :/

This is brilliant, and I hope to see them double fist black cocks at the premiere tomorrow.

I’ll take two.

I only recently discovered that my dear friend gwynnie frey has her own website, hell yeah!

What marketing genius came up with the idea to name a mature women’s clothing line after Sag Harbor, New York? I mean, seriously? And women actually buy this? I wish there were a place named Incontinence Bay, so I could start up geriatric pants clothing line and pay homage by naming my company after it.

Choose your own adventure phone sex line. Just like the books, but sexier. And on the phone.

Call up, and based on menu options, you get to choose your way through your own phone sex encounter. What could go wrong? If men actually legitimately buy pre-recorded POV porn and pretend that they’re really the guy in the video doing god-knows-what to some girl, I’m almost positive they’d pay to listen to pre-recorded fucknoises on the phone for $.99 a minute. Best part of this business model? Don’t have to employ any operators at all. Let alone the fact that there could be an added twist wherein every phone sex adventure likely ends in your death at the hands of grave-robbing dino-robots just like the CYOA books.